A New Type of Leader

I wrote this poem in 2011 Inspired by the many positive changes we are seeing around the world. The importance of optimism,hope,kindness,forgiveness,sharing,compassion. Here we are in 2016 and it seems fitting again to share but for a different reason from when I originally intended.

In light of the USA election a new type of leader is required, a LEADER in all of us. Leaders that have the tenacity and faith to face the challenges and the opportunities that arise together because quite simply we have no choice!😊

I hope you enjoy reading ! xo

The World is Changing

The world is changing before my eyes

As rulers crumble and leaders rise

In every flower bursts a smile

The richness of colors I sit for awhile

To revel in the hope such a simple joy brings

Listen to the music playing as the angel sweetly sings

Overwhelming at times to comprehend how anger and hate stifle the air

With each raging fist and evil stare

People still fighting for a right to vote, to revenge a death, to love another

Why is it so hard to regard each other as a sister and brother?

It makes you wonder if we are ever truly free

When internally you discover you must let go so you can begin to see

Set aside your arrogance and ego for a time

Put yourself in the shoes of another it isn’t such a crime

Mother Nature is the mightiest force we will ever see

With conviction she is teaching lessons for you and me

All over the world homes, families, trinkets capturing memories are swiftly lost

The lessons of strength are being taught at a cost

A different set of emotions now fill the air

Is any of this just or fair?

As people find strength to begin from scratch

Hearts sheltered in hope like a hole in a pair of jeans with a brand new patch

I sit quietly and think about this emotion I am a hostage to that I can’t control

Its peace and love that resides deep in my soul

All of this anger and hate will it rid this world it’s hard to imagine and see

All I know for sure is that it can start with me

It doesn’t take long to feel the kindness from a warm embrace

To be captivated by the love and tenderness in a strangers face

It’s this kind of optimism that inspires me to the core of my soul

Living each day feeling grateful my striving goal

The world is changing before my eyes

As rulers crumble and leaders rise

Tracey Speares 

Copyright (May 2011)"

The Lessons You Teach

The Yellow Hibiscus is a symbol of Happiness, Sunshine

By all accounts my hibiscus plant really should be dead. Seriously, anyone who knows me , knows my history with flowers. In fairness to the flowers, I did forget to water them on occasion. Knowing the right humidity levels, how to treat leaf damage, bugs, I admit were not on the top of my interest level. I love flowers but if I am honest, I  gave up hope of  ever becoming a green thumb and having the most beautiful garden. Then came along my hibiscus..a beautiful gift from my best friend after my gallbladder surgery.

Coming up on 2 years since I received the plant and its STILL ALIVE!

This isn't an ordinary plant, but rather its extraordinary in my eyes!!!

So far since under my watch, I have washed its roots because it ended up with a disease, this process ended up costing me $500 dollars to have a plumber come to my home to unclog my drains, a day long process ( No, I didn't quite think thru that one first) . In winter months cinnamon is sprinkled around the soil to avoid mold. This year, as leaves were dying , I knew something wasn't right, after much trial and error and research, the plant ended up in my shower to rid it of spider mites. I bring it in the house in the summer during heavy rain and wind storms, it sits under the lights during dull days in the fall and in the winter it has a special place in the window. Finding the right watering frequency during each season has been a chore! 

This plant has tested every ounce of my gardening expertise and patience. Quite frankly it is a lot of work but I LOVE IT so I CARE for it! 

Why put in the effort? Well, I guess the lessons drawn from this flower is the simple answer..it's been a journey to say the least:

• If you want something to grow you must nurture and care for it not only in the optimal times but in the challenging times. Seek out the problem and find a solution
• Don't be afraid to ask for advice when you are struggling for answers 
• Don't be afraid to take action even if you make a mistake 
• Each bloom is magnificent and unique in its own right. No two are the same but they can bring so much joy 
• Each bloom stays for a moment in time then it dies. The plant must live without that bloom and find a way to carry on. Enjoy it while it lasts!   
•  With each season you have to adapt to needs. Even if you aren't prepared , if you love something enough you WILL  find a way. Love can grow and bloom once it adapts to the changes
• When it doesn't feel loved or cared for it will slowly die. You are given warning signs and if you chose to ignore don't be surprised by the outcome.
• Take time to bask in the beauty of color and the simple little flower.
• Waking up to a new bloom and watching it as it slowly opens..brings so much joy to this gal's heart.

For every bloom this plant produces that my eyes have witnessed,  I take a picture and each one  shared with my best friend. Its not just my plant anymore , it's our plant. We talk about the beauty,  the lessons and the journey.

Who knew when I received this gift that these lessons would be revealed to me.  It's been an incredible journey . Excited for what this plant has in store in the days, weeks and months to come..! 

Paying attention to the gifts we receive are as important as the gifts we discover inside ourselves..and the gifts that live inside ourselves allow us to give gifts to others! Life is funny like that!

I'm Not Perfect

It feels like forever since I've felt like writing or painting.  This happens on occasion and the words simply aren't there or I can't be bothered to pick up a brush.
 To be honest, I simply get jammed up in my own head. I don't know if this happens to other people or not but I know for me..it happens a lot..getting jammed in my own head that is!!! I think far too much at times,  it hijacks my brain and robs me of my creativity. I can't help it..I'm a thinker.
Its frustrating because the very thing I know that brings me joy I can't tap into. The level of frustration I  equate it to is,  sitting with a rubicks cube , attempting for days to put that sucker together, ok who am I kidding , attempting for months with no success! Arrgh..FU@K!!
The most famous writers experience "writer's block" and painters don't feel like touching the canvas, it happens.
The more you fight it, the less it comes.  I don't fight it. I know it will come back because I trust my gift. I don't take it for granted.  I do feel pressure when the words don't come. I can't even begin to explain how the words come to me ..all I can say is when they come I have to stop everything.
I recently spent 5 wonderful  days back home with my best friend ,  exploring and sharing the culture in which I grew up. Sharing memories,  time at the ocean , in nature , moments with family and old friends , my heart was overflowing with joy.

Thankfully, my gift came back and shortly upon returning my heart was flooded with the following words:

I'm not perfect and that's ok
I've got people who love me 
Anyway
I'm not perfect and neither are you
Let's stop judging and shine on 
Thru
I'm not perfect and neither is my life
Ups and downs like a yo-yo guaranteed happiness throw in a little
Strife
I'm not perfect and neither is the world
Forever changing
Filled with hope
Tainted with badness
Glowing with desire
Edged in crazy
Embraced in hugs
Surrounded by beauty
I'm not perfect and that's ok 
I've got people who love me
Anyway
I'm not perfect 
But I love deeply thru it all.
Tracey ( August 2015)
Copywrite Yes You Can Coaching

Sometimes all we need to do is relax.  To step outside of our heads and let our hearts lead. Stop for a moment and breathe..slow the pace. Its not easy when every day life pressures want to keep you tied to the pace at which society thinks you should move. That's when you need to stop..remember your pace..remember what is important to you.
We all have a gift to share with the world..our purpose is to find it, embrace it , and allow it to bring us joy so that we can share it with others.

I hope you find your gift and share it with the world if you haven't already. Remember , when it gets lost , and believe me it will from time to time..hang in there..you will find it again. For those still searching to find their gift..if something brings you joy..keep exploring it.

Its one poem..I am grateful.

Next ..time to pick up the paint brush and see what comes.

“When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.”
― Rumi

I Gotta A Feeling...

Waking up to an outdoor temperature registering -27 degrees C , the typical feeling would be damn it's cold out there. Yes even for a Canadian who really should be use to cold winter temperatures. In fact, I won't lie as soon as I opened the door to let my poor dog outside to pee, the thought was holy F$#k its cold. How crazy am I to think my little min pin who is all of 8 lbs would even consider wanting to cock his leg for natures calling. Poor little guy by the time he finishes, he can't decide which paw to hold up from touching the coldness of the snow. I can't even get mad at him for the odd accident inside, I wouldn't want to pee outside in this weather. That's a different story altogether!

In the midst of winter the gift of the blooming hibiscus warms my soul

 While the exterior might be projecting damn its cold out there.. on the inside the feeling of warmth brings comfort like a pair of warm long johns . Yes I GOTTA A FEELING...

I read this morning a beautiful piece from a book called Immortal Diamond that resonated so deeply with me. As Oprah declares the infamous "Ah Ha" moment.

It goes like this " Within us there is an inner, natural dignity. An inherent worthiness that already knows and enjoys. It is an immortal diamond waiting to be mined and is never discovered undesired. It is a reverence humming within you that must be honored." The finisher for me " Once in a while, this True Self becomes radiant and highly visible in one lovely place or person" 

When you experience that feeling, you know there is no turning back. How can you and why would you want to go back? How you see the world and everything in it changes. Its a gripping addictive feeling of the best kind.

Life is a reflection of what we believe, it determines what we can or cannot do. I think I've always known this to be true somewhere inside.

I am a firm believer that if we set our minds to something, there are no limits to what we can achieve. 

It may not be perfect. Why do we need perfection? It may not even be what others think it should be perhaps all that matters is that it is exactly what we believe it to be!! 

Honor yourself..honor what you know to be your true self, I promise you will know it when you feel it! 

I Had A Dream...and It Came True

 In September my sister and I traveled to Italy to take part in the Friends in Italy Walking Tour. Travelling to Italy has been a dream of mine for years. At the beginning of the year the opportunity presented itself when Pamela Haack owner of Off the Beaten Strada sent out her monthly email advising spaces were available for the tour. I read the itinerary she put together for this 13 day trip and I knew this was something I had to take part in. Long story short within 24 hours my sister and I were signed up.

 To say I was excited was an understatement. I couldn't wait to get there and see if all the things I had read , seen and heard about Italy were true. Our trip took us to Rome, Cinque Terre, Tuscany, Umbria and all the places in between. 13 days of exploring medieval villages, Duomo's unlike anything I have ever seen, views that took us above the clouds, over the Mediterranean ocean,  vineyards lined with lushes grapes, mountain tops that glistened with marble. There were sunrises , sunsets, harvest moonlight, sunflowers and even wild poppy's. Locals sharing their artistic talents from painting, ceramics, wood making, copper making. Countless flavors of gelato...I made it thru 20 and each day I found my new favorite flavor.

 We stayed in quaint little hotels that were filled with warmth and charm.
 My favorite being the Villa in Fabro.
Agriturismo Il Colombaio http://www.tripadvisor.com/Hotel_Review-g1006066-d969369-Reviews-s1-Agriturismo_Il_Colombaio-Montegabbione_Province_of_Terni_Umbria.html

How do I even describe the Villa other than if you are ever in Umbria, this is a place to stay. Irma and her family are simply delightful and made each of us feel at home during our stay. A peaceful place with stunning views no matter what direction you choose to face. The meals were outstanding. I cannot say enough about the place where doves fly.

 Every expectation I had was blown out of the ball park. It was beyond my wildest expectations.  Pamela had indeed taken us off the Beaten Strada and shown us a side of Italy that was unique and special. The history beyond my comprehension , my senses opened and awake.
Beyond the views, the food, the wine the most special of all was the people. Each person we met was warm and kind, happy to share their culture with us. They were patient as I attempted to speak some Italian and I am sure sounded pitiful but they were happy to help me learn .
Most of all, we arrived to spend 13 days with 12 other ladies we never met before. As many of us ladies know that can be a disaster.
It was no disaster. In fact ,  a special thing that happened.
We laughed until our stomach's hurt, we shared stories over wine and the most amazing meals, we listened to music as the sun set,we walked for just 5 more minutes every day..and fell in love with our four legged friends Miele and Oliva

... by the end of the 13 days became new friends and  we departed our journey and went home. This was the most unexpected gift of my dream..to meet such beautiful ladies who carried themselves with  grace, each unique in their own way..  even in such a short time touched my heart and taught me a great deal, more than they will ever know.

Had I not decided to follow my dream and book this trip...I would have never had this journey and never met this group of inspiring ladies. The other nice thing..I think it was a trip of a life time for my sister too!!

“You can't stay in your corner of the Forest waiting for others to come to you. You have to go to them sometimes.”
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

If you are thinking about a trip to Italy and its your first time..I highly recommend you contact Pamela Haack and invest in a personal tour guided trip. I promise you , you will not be disappointed. This lady's love for Italy , her knowledge and contacts she will ensure you see Italy in a way no one else can!!

Pamela Haack - Off the Beaten Strada Italy Tours

I wrote a poem to capture my 13 day journey, words that come from my heart and dedicated to the ladies that made my dream that much more special. I hope it inspires others to visit Italy one day.

I had a Dream…

I had a dream to one day visit the shoe

In Sept 2014 that dream came true

I feel the passion ooze from each person we meet

So patient and kind and incredibly sweet

Vatican gold and secrets of sin

Here is where the history and stories begin

Marble sculptures detailed to perfection

Grand Roman Piazza’s and Fabio’s blushing complexion

Bruno takes us away from the crazy Roma city hustle

At a gas station Genny attracts

Some studley Roman muscle

Toilets are different and now we must squat

Melissa gets stage fright to be honest

This position is not all that hot

Majestic views of the Tuscan hills

The smells of the Mediterranean ocean gives me warm Sept chills

Cyprus trees the staggering shades of green

Like detailed patchwork on my grandmothers quilt

Its unlike anything I have ever seen

Monterossa your roads scared us so

Winding around the mountain we survive to find your beauty below

Cinque Terre does not disappoint, looking over the sea my heart skips a beat

We explore 5 villages with uneven cobble stones

Wobbling under my feet

Sweet Gelato is sinfully piled

So many flavors to drive the palate wild

The smells of leather in the Florence stores

In Montepulciano the vino and art galore

Senor Ceazare is charming Attentionné s’il vous plait

On this little copper shop I stand in awe, generations of excellence

What more can I say

Every meal is flavorable a taste beyond compare

I close my eyes and savor

Eat more if you dare

Orvieto treats us to handmade ceramics and olive wood

So pleasing to the eye

As I roam through her Duomo, I take a breathe and sigh

I touch the history this structure contains

Centuries of artwork its mind-blowing what remains

I admire the picturesque land at each stop we make

My senses are blissfully awake

Etched in my mind are the memories of this trip

I will remember with a smile with each glass of vino I sip

Time has come to harvest the life of this land

I can’t believe I held such sweet fruit deep purple and yellow in the

Palm of my hand

Like a child with great love the grapes are nurtured until the grow

Careful steps taken to mature them and when it’s time to sell

They proudly let the wine go

The Etruscan tombs eerie a serene somber place

Names of the dead engraved in stone I can’t help but

Touch as I explore with curiosity upon my face

Fields lined with ochre yellows and sienna brown

The sunflowers gracefully bow their heads to the ground

Cornita’s filled with surprises, I feel the contentment

Glide across my face

We listen to Pamela share stories

How do you say in English?

With such theatrics & grace 

With Marletta’s shoulders covered and her knees left open

Sandra and Ella drink wine like the pro’s

Terry is charming and full of wit, what flows out of her mouth

No one ever knows

Nina gives lessons on the each electronic device

Capturing shots of everyone and posting on facebook

She is really cool and so so nice

Poor Donna got bit and had a shot in her bum

Debbie spots a flock of parrots in Palisade park

Will we ever get out of here before dark?

Judy needs a bank is there one in this place

Virginia is off wandering with a smile on her face

The fabric in Fabro is eloquent and unique

Rosanna treats us well in her chic little boutique

Pienza the pecorino and chingale are everywhere we go

The rain is upon us so off to Pope Piccolomi castle,

The strategic plan walk real slow

Despite the cold and wet day

We find a quaint little restaurant hidden away

It’s here I find my handsome Italian man

I might have to come visit again this magical land

Emanule and Ermano drive us around with such care

Finding such gentleman back home is often quite rare

Our day in Montalcino with the ladies of Pianello

Was for me a highlight

For the record my favorite gelato just might be lemoncello

Yet after today,  I think I might change my mind the trilogy of flavors

The Vanilla was one of a kind

Donkeys are braying , in the churches locals are praying

A peacock exists that I never did see

Cornelis the goat he rides in the car as content as can be

The vino flows as stories are shared about our day

The harvest moon shines brightly as we manga and laugh the night away

Feeling blessed my heart is over flowing

13 precious women have come into my life

And I am leaving my dream

Better for knowing

Not one day has been taken for granted

The love of Italy and all this history

The seeds now planted

Irma and family the hospitality they show

Going above and beyond

Makes it harder to go

Time at their villa was amazing and unlike all the rest

Lisa and Pamela you are truly special

And simply the best

How can we forget little Miele and Oliva

They have stolen our hearts, the cutest by far

I really hope those teeth marks on Pamela’s hand don’t leave a scar

In San Casciano dei Bagni Daniela gives us a treat

A secret visit to her home and marvelous

Lunch at her restaurant on the street

The spa was a relaxing superb end to the day

Water treatments and massages I feel like floating away

Our time here has ended and who knows if the Wally’s

Were every truly found

We only care that our Bella Genny is with us safe and sound

So Ladies tonight lets raise our glasses

To the Friendships we made, go home and extend the passion of Italy

She tenderly gave

To good health and to the pictures we will share

Remember each story with kind loving care

Ciao amica mia’s may your memories of our time spent together always last

As this moment in time will gently fade into the past

I had a dream….

And it came true, with great love and gratitude I thank each one of you.

Love Tracey (Sept 14, 2014) 

Copywrite Yes You Can

What I Learned From Pole Dancing Fitness

Earlier this year a dear friend and I embarked on a new adventure to become in the elite 2% of the population that would attempt pole dancing. Wanting to see what this was about we found a pole dancing fitness class near home and signed up for a 6 week beginner class. 

I am always up for a challenge and eager to attempt anything once for the experience. I have to say I was intimidated walking into a room being the heaviest of the group, one of the oldest and looking at 8 poles just waiting to bust my ass! 

I will spare the details of the mix of fun and frustration I felt but I will share the observations/lessons I took away from my pole dancing adventure:

• It takes incredible core strength its no easy workout
• It made me confront several weaknesses
• I couldn't climb a pole - never could since grade school
• I am not that graceful and finding my sexy walk was simply odd to me
• You have to let go of what others think- focus on mastering your own gig
• Trust yourself and the pole which is a metaphor for opening up to trust on every level so you can be your best self
• In the midst of confronting my weakness I had my dear friend beside me and I felt safe to be me and not be perfect. We shared in each other's frustration,  in some good laughs, and comparing which body part hurt worst and for how long!  
• I have to be OK with not being good at some things because its perfectly OK!  

After 6 weeks , I can't say I would ever get rich making a living as a pole dancer but I can say my friend and I are in the 2% of the population that  had the courage to face the pole. It was a great work out and pole dancing fitness is serious business and the ladies and men who master the pole I salute your strength.

I am grateful for the least expected lessons I took away from having this experience reminding me the value of having the courage to step out of your comfort zone and attempt something new! 

Live in Courage or Crawl in Fear

It's Saturday morning , I am enjoying a peppermint mocha latte in the comfort of my home and reflecting upon the last few weeks. Call me crazy but that's what I do these days. Maybe that is what you are supposed to do in your 40's I don't know, but I am compelled to do allot of it. I'm OK with it. I shared my thoughts on this with a trusted friend and she encouraged me to write about it here. I write from my heart not from the pen of an eloquent writer so please forgive me if you find a spelling mistake or literal blunder! 

So what can I share in this blog post that may have some meaning this morning to anyone who takes the time to read? 

To keep it simple, in my opinion there are two paths in life for us to follow… LIVE with Courage or Crawl in Fear.. the path you choose you can FEEL the difference inside … POWER of Choice determines the path and the feeling.  How in the heck did I come to form this opinion? Well aside from my over all life journey..there was one week this past month that particularly struck me that lead me to this message.

In the span of a week I was blessed to have dinner with a man who has turned his passion not only into a career but a mission that inspires young and old alike to believe and challenge themselves beyond what they ever thought possible. Passion that explodes so addicting that it lights an internal spark within. You know because you can feel it in your gut and the energy his aura creates is invigorating. His resolve and courage

That same evening I am announcing a special memorial award in honor of a colleague who lost her fight with cancer in front of her parents. Their resolve and courage

Next day I learn my Aunt has passed away. One of the kindest and gentlest lady's I ever met. She cried when she saw you coming and she cried when you left..always tears of joy on both occasions. My last memory with her was at her daughters 60 birthday party in August where she hugged me and of course cried. My sister and I had our picture taken with her as did all her family that day. With each picture she cried as she posed. I felt then, they were not tears of joy but the realization knowing it was probably the last photo’s she would take and the last birthday she would celebrate with her daughter. She was right. Her resolve and courage

 It hit me , the  special people who made up the bulk  of my childhood memories are dying off. What is left are the memories.  You take these people for granted when you are young. The thought that one day they will be gone doesn't  enter your mind. Somehow we believe they will live forever. Then you hit  the age when you realize forever means something totally different. 

Thursday I am at a youth group home painting. A place that is home to kids their backgrounds each different and unique , in some cases the only thing they have brought with them is the clothes on their back. This place is a safe haven compared to where they have come from. Their goal if they choose to stay is to graduate high school or secondary education, learn life skills so when they leave they can make it on their own.  What might be running thru their young minds , how they cope, how they carry on, their perseverance to rise above the stereotypes and the struggles they face are all questions I have. Their resolve and courage.

Hearing about a young man in my community who is losing his battle with a heart condition he has had since birth. Thinking about what his parents must be feeling knowing they are going to lose their only son..it’s overwhelming.  This young life was placed on earth for a purpose. He is here to fill HIS purpose and from day one everyone knew his life was limited. From the stories I have heard and read , from seeing him myself,  this little man through his young life has inspired many lives. He probably doesn't even realize it. He sure has inspired the power of prayer, people praying who may never thought of such an act. The fact he still smiles while he is fighting says a great deal about his character. His resolve and courage.

Ending the week helping a friend who was having a rough week. My role in that moment was to listen, give a hug and hold his hand. Tell him someone does care and someone does understand. Tell him, what he is feeling..he is not alone and it’s OK to break down every now and then..there is no judgment.  In that moment, I wasn't there to judge I was there to potentially save a life.  His resolve and courage.

Am I crazy for thinking about the impact these experiences had? I like to think I am lucky enough to value these moments to really feel the lessons that I myself are being taught. I like to think they are powerful enough to share.

Resolve and courage.. …..feels like a powerful combination. In each experience I thought about what if FEAR replaced the courage? What could the alternative meant? It's pretty simple to figure out based on my own choices and based on what I see going on in the world.

Power of choice ...time for me to pay attention to that. I think without even realizing it, my whole life I have always had that power..it may be what has gotten me through all my ups and downs! 

The trick is realizing we are never alone, people do care. There is something to be learned from every experience and the beauty of it is..we can always change what path we go down 

..The POWER OF CHOICE!